[00:00.00] 作词 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz
[00:00.00] 作曲 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz
[00:00.00]
[00:03.31]Hello, how can I help you?
[00:05.14]Hi, my name's Dave Burd
[00:07.32]I have an appointment today. It's probably under "Lil Dicksexy"
[00:10.86]Actually, I'm a… I'm a rapper, so…
[00:13.37]OK, and who are you here to see?
[00:15.71]Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"
[00:19.52]Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right
[00:22.72]Give him a knock and he should be right with you
[00:24.71]Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?
[00:27.42]Mm-hmm
[00:28.28]Thank you
[00:30.41]Grab a seat
[00:31.22]Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
[00:33.09]Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
[00:35.04]Let me just check your sheet
[00:36.20]No problem
[00:37.00]Sir, let me just say
[00:38.07]I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
[00:39.83]I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
[00:41.61]All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
[00:43.53]Let me start with your background
[00:44.70]Where you come from?
[00:45.44]Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
[00:47.26]Before that
[00:47.87]Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
[00:48.87]Yeah
[00:49.24]I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
[00:52.21]It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
[00:54.03]So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
[00:56.00]I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
[00:58.41]Elaborate
[00:59.23]Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
[01:01.86]Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad
[01:04.31]I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
[01:06.37]But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
[01:08.10]Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
[01:11.02]When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
[01:13.67]Boo hoo what a hard mother****ing life
[01:15.04]How you paid to get the rap shit started?
[01:16.48]Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
[01:17.59]But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
[01:20.85]I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
[01:22.84]Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
[01:25.08]Yeah, I guess
[01:25.59]That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
[01:27.81]Oh my god, it's the best
[01:29.14]Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
[01:30.34]Literally I can reinvent myself
[01:31.92]I get a forum to project myself
[01:33.28]It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
[01:35.55]I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
[01:37.81]It's kinda healthy
[01:38.56]Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
[01:40.54]Sure
[01:40.84]In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
[01:42.40]Uh, I wouldn't do shit
[01:44.12]And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
[01:46.04]Shut the **** up, rap's like life
[01:47.34]If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
[01:50.00]Nah, that's my niche!
[01:51.11]Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
[01:53.84]That's the target I'll hit
[01:55.18]And that's the heart of my pitch
[01:56.48]I wanna do this whole thing different
[01:59.12]What the **** you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
[02:01.59]Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
[02:03.56]Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time
[02:07.73]But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
[02:10.27]Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
[02:12.95]You don't know if it could be working even better
[02:15.33]And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
[02:19.02]I don't mean any disrespect by that
[02:20.75]I'm just saying I have a different background
[02:22.18]Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
[02:26.79]So what are your biggest strengths?
[02:28.72]Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
[02:30.89]For example, I can be like ain't nobody ****ing with Lil Dicksexy
[02:32.97]When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
[02:34.73]Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
[02:37.41]Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit in whatever cadence you ****ing prefer
[02:39.74]Alright, alright, I get it
[02:40.91]Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
[02:42.63]Got a long bottom nigga, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
[02:44.59]And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
[02:46.43]You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
[02:48.31]And y'all been winning like Pistorius, it's no feat
[02:50.13]Bro, I can go on and on
[02:51.34]I'm taking over and they mad like father-in-laws
[02:53.39]OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different than the other guys
[02:56.59]Well I don't know if they can run it like that
[02:58.00]But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
[02:59.78]What's that?
[03:00.12]Well I can tell a story about my morning
[03:01.84]Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
[03:04.52]Like the 14 year old Topanga
[03:05.83]Oh this shit like a joke to you? I don't get it
[03:07.66]Nah it ain't like that
[03:08.49]I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy
[03:11.56]So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
[03:13.84]Real recognize real, right?
[03:15.06]Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?
[03:16.67]Five years from now, tell me bout the due
[03:18.61]Well, I don't care about the money
[03:19.77]Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
[03:21.24]Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
[03:22.62]Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
[03:24.68]I don't wanna leave the game the same
[03:26.00]In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
[03:27.78]Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand-up rap
[03:30.03]Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti-rap
[03:33.22]Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
[03:38.03]That shit sound pretty damn complex
[03:39.55]I guess, I wanna be the best
[03:40.72]I just wanna do it my way
[03:42.09]And turn the whole game sideways
[03:43.46]And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
[03:45.53]You can make a path while these mother****ers drive straight
[03:47.64]I ain't mad at that
[03:48.61]Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
[03:49.86]Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques
[03:51.16]And I ain't about to win them back to back
[03:52.90]I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
[03:55.08]Til I stop rapping
[03:56.20]You ain't even sold a damn album yet
[03:57.95]True
[03:58.28]That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
[03:59.64]Let alone a young rook bitch
[04:01.13]You misread me
[04:01.89]Nah this ain't a book bitch
[04:03.05]Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
[04:05.44]No, you just ****ing repetitive dawg
[04:07.16]I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain't shit until cheddars involved
[04:11.11]I get that I gotta prove myself
[04:12.57]No shit you ain't done shit
[04:14.06]But think about that though
[04:15.00]Only doing this a couple of years
[04:16.43]One tape and I'm like this?
[04:17.49]This shit is aight for your first shit
[04:19.11]But you don't know if it's your worst shit
[04:20.41]You don't think finding out would be worth it?
[04:22.33]It might be, it might not
[04:23.95]But I'mma put your ass to work, kid
[04:25.65]Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
[04:28.51]Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
[04:32.16]What would you do for the hook for this song?
[04:33.56]You want me to make a hook up right now?
[04:35.70]Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?
[04:38.13]Alright, uh, okay
[04:39.32]Man do the hook!
[04:40.67]I'm bout to be professional
[04:42.50]Homie, I'm professional
[04:44.27]Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
[04:46.51]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, that shit is garbage ma
[04:49.17]Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
[04:51.85]But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
[04:54.04]Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
[04:57.39]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg mother****ing shit right ther
[05:01.37]Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
[05:04.45]Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
[05:06.80]Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
[05:08.85]Right now?
[05:09.86]Yeah
[05:10.37]Sure
[05:11.21]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: ****. Juanita, bring some mother****ers in here, please. Thank yo
[05:14.02]You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there
[05:15.69]Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
[05:18.39]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, why does everything you say sound so soft
[05:21.28]Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
[05:24.84]Yeah, whatever. Thanks
[05:25.87]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Hey, I got y'all y'all mother****ers
[05:28.00]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Damn, that's some great looking shit. It's just so earl
[05:31.96]Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?
[05:36.37]D-Did you just say head?
[05:38.33]Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?
[05:41.39]I mean… Just feels like… A lot, right now
[05:45.20]OK
[05:46.02]But what kind of tea do you guys have?
[05:47.34]We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast…
[05:50.39]Actually, I'll take head
[05:52.12]I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head
[05:53.88]

作词 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz
作曲 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz
Hello, how can I help you?
Hi, my name's Dave Burd
I have an appointment today. It's probably under "Lil Dicksexy"
Actually, I'm a… I'm a rapper, so…
OK, and who are you here to see?
Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"
Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right
Give him a knock and he should be right with you
Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?
Mm-hmm
Thank you
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
No problem
Sir, let me just say
I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
Let me start with your background
Where you come from?
Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
Before that
Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
Yeah
I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad
I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hard mother****ing life
How you paid to get the rap shit started?
Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
Yeah, I guess
That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
Oh my god, it's the best
Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I get a forum to project myself
It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
Uh, I wouldn't do shit
And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
Shut the **** up, rap's like life
If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
Nah, that's my niche!
Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the **** you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
You don't know if it could be working even better
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
I don't mean any disrespect by that
I'm just saying I have a different background
Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
So what are your biggest strengths?
Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
For example, I can be like ain't nobody ****ing with Lil Dicksexy
When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit in whatever cadence you ****ing prefer
Alright, alright, I get it
Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
Got a long bottom nigga, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius, it's no feat
Bro, I can go on and on
I'm taking over and they mad like father-in-laws
OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different than the other guys
Well I don't know if they can run it like that
But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
What's that?
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this shit like a joke to you? I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that
I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy
So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real, right?
Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?
Five years from now, tell me bout the due
Well, I don't care about the money
Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand-up rap
Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti-rap
Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
That shit sound pretty damn complex
I guess, I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these mother****ers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win them back to back
I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
Let alone a young rook bitch
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book bitch
Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
No, you just ****ing repetitive dawg
I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain't shit until cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No shit you ain't done shit
But think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this?
This shit is aight for your first shit
But you don't know if it's your worst shit
You don't think finding out would be worth it?
It might be, it might not
But I'mma put your ass to work, kid
Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
What would you do for the hook for this song?
You want me to make a hook up right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?
Alright, uh, okay
Man do the hook!
I'm bout to be professional
Homie, I'm professional
Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, that shit is garbage ma
Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg mother****ing shit right ther
Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?
Right now?
Yeah
Sure
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: ****. Juanita, bring some mother****ers in here, please. Thank yo
You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there
Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, why does everything you say sound so soft
Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
Yeah, whatever. Thanks
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Hey, I got y'all y'all mother****ers
Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Damn, that's some great looking shit. It's just so earl
Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?
D-Did you just say head?
Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?
I mean… Just feels like… A lot, right now
OK
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast…
Actually, I'll take head
I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head