[00:00.00]A prestigious and lucrative vocation
[00:00.35]So I set off on a journey
[00:01.48]To become an attorney
[00:02.57]Without a moment's hesitation
[00:04.56]But here's some free advice I'm giving
[00:08.16]When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living
[00:12.20]Don't be a lawyer
[00:13.95]Don't do it
[00:14.74]Quickest way to ruin your life
[00:16.19]Don't be a lawyer
[00:17.86]Not worth it
[00:18.73]It'll leave you dead inside
[00:24.66]Twenty years old pretty smart kid
[00:26.50]Didn't know what I wanted to do
[00:28.38]So I took the LSAT
[00:29.46]And just like that
[00:30.48]got accepted at Glendale U
[00:32.70]Everyone said it was a real safe bet
[00:34.49]A prestigious and lucrative vocation
[00:36.35]So I set off on a journey
[00:37.48]To become an attorney
[00:38.57]Without a moment's hesitation
[00:40.56]But here's some free advice I'm giving
[00:44.16]When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living
[00:48.20]Don't be a lawyer
[00:49.95]Don't do it
[00:50.74]Quickest way to ruin your life
[00:52.19]Don't be a lawyer
[00:53.86]Not worth it
[00:54.73]It'll leave you dead inside
[00:56.47]The job is inherently crappy
[00:58.29]That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy
[01:00.26]It's a guaranteed soul destroyer
[01:04.21]Don't be a lawyer
[01:08.67]Law school debt
[01:09.70]Daily regret
[01:10.44]Is that what you dreamed of as a kid
[01:12.30]Or did you hope one day
[01:13.46]That you'd find a way
[01:14.40]To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company
[01:19.55]Your only expertise
[01:20.60]Is runnin' up fees
[01:21.69]Speakin' legalese like a dick
[01:23.45]But it's not too late
[01:24.48]To avoid this fate
[01:25.46]Find any other job to pick
[01:27.62]Sure your parents might think you're a failure
[01:31.45]But no one's ever said First let's kill all the tailors
[01:35.25]Don't be a lawyer
[01:36.95]I'm serious it really really sucks
[01:39.20]Don't be a lawyer
[01:40.61]No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal
[01:43.20]There are so many other professions
[01:45.55]That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions
[01:47.25]Just say no to the lawyer employer
[01:50.42]No Don't be a lawyer
[01:53.50]What about human rights law
[01:55.91]No money no no money
[01:58.14]Environmental law
[01:59.90]No money even less money
[02:02.31]Immigration law
[02:03.91]No money plus it's a bummer
[02:06.30]Okay but what if one day you make it to the Supreme Court
[02:09.20]It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court
[02:11.47]But you'll never be on the Supreme Court
[02:13.43]There's truly no chance of that happenin'
[02:21.37]Ah screw it
[02:25.28]See Don't be a lawyer

A prestigious and lucrative vocation
So I set off on a journey
To become an attorney
Without a moment's hesitation
But here's some free advice I'm giving
When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living
Don't be a lawyer
Don't do it
Quickest way to ruin your life
Don't be a lawyer
Not worth it
It'll leave you dead inside
Twenty years old pretty smart kid
Didn't know what I wanted to do
So I took the LSAT
And just like that
got accepted at Glendale U
Everyone said it was a real safe bet
A prestigious and lucrative vocation
So I set off on a journey
To become an attorney
Without a moment's hesitation
But here's some free advice I'm giving
When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living
Don't be a lawyer
Don't do it
Quickest way to ruin your life
Don't be a lawyer
Not worth it
It'll leave you dead inside
The job is inherently crappy
That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy
It's a guaranteed soul destroyer
Don't be a lawyer
Law school debt
Daily regret
Is that what you dreamed of as a kid
Or did you hope one day
That you'd find a way
To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company
Your only expertise
Is runnin' up fees
Speakin' legalese like a dick
But it's not too late
To avoid this fate
Find any other job to pick
Sure your parents might think you're a failure
But no one's ever said First let's kill all the tailors
Don't be a lawyer
I'm serious it really really sucks
Don't be a lawyer
No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal
There are so many other professions
That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions
Just say no to the lawyer employer
No Don't be a lawyer
What about human rights law
No money no no money
Environmental law
No money even less money
Immigration law
No money plus it's a bummer
Okay but what if one day you make it to the Supreme Court
It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court
But you'll never be on the Supreme Court
There's truly no chance of that happenin'
Ah screw it
See Don't be a lawyer